ADVERSE EVENT - PIRATE STYLE
by OrionRedStar
Summary: Just a short and quick fan fiction story, mostly written out of a boring afternoon. A simple fifteen minute glimpse of Jack and Lizzie banter one day aboard the Black Pearl. Rated Teen, only for suggestive material, nothing overt. Humorous tale.


**"ADVERSE EVENT- PIRATE STYLE" a quick fan fic for fun**

 **It was only a tiny bit of blood. Elizabeth winced as she bit her lower lip to brace herself for the inevitable pain. With painstaking tries one after the other to get a grip on this bothersome shrivel of wood, finally she prevailed. Elizabeth managed to pull out the annoying splinter. Relieved to have achieved what was nearly next to the impossible, Elizabeth swiftly and without thought shoved her thumb into her mouth to ease the resilient sting.**

 _ **Damn it!**_

 **Swabbing the deck on her hands and knees was not the most logical task suited for her dainty hands, but Elizabeth had strong arms and was rugged of heart. She always wanted to make a good impression to the crew and show that she was not just a helpless female. And the way certain members were glaring at her as of late, it was a also a good reminder to make them comprehend she was not just a trinket. Elizabeth Swann was far from a refined and demure figurine made of porcelain which needed to be coddled and treated with finesse. She was equal to any man and formidable with a blade in a battle. And by god if she had to use this scrub brush to scour the deck of the** _ **Pearl**_ **from now until dooms day, Elizabeth would admirably prove her point!**

 **Sparrow had just happened to be strutting by, his primary concern was to inspect the new lines they purchased in Haiti and wanted to ensure they were of the utmost quality first before use for ship's rigging. With a double take, Jack could not help but spot this provocative sight. Elizabeth sitting cross-legged with her thumb stuck between―what Sparrow would otherwise call―'heaven.'**

 **Thoroughly amused over this sight and of course distracted from continuing upon his initial mission to inspect woven hemp, Jack made a quick diversionary maneuver. With a rapid sidestep out of his original path, Jack made a few extra steps port and wound up hovering over this lovely display upon deck of his ship. It was far more enticing and alluring 'exam' than his initial bill of fare.**

 **"Well, well…what I'd give t' trade places."**

 **By the long and looming shadow cast upon the black planks in front of Elizabeth, it was not difficult to guess by the churlish voice above as to who it was admiring her present conundrum. Elizabeth discharged her thumb from mouth and looked up to offer a filthy look, but when her chin lifted parallel to the ship she realized Sparrow was so close to her. Coincidentally, his prominent crotch of britches was apparently directly across from her! Casting her eyes down and to the side feigning inspection of the bucket with scrub brush, Elizabeth dunked her sore thumbed hand into the cold water.**

 **"What do** _ **you**_ **want?" she hissed with negligible annoyance.**

 **"Nothin', I was….mmmmmm… merely takin' in the view. If I were you…I'd might do the** _ **same**_ **." Jack mused with a sinister tenor of sexual mockery and that infernal grin slowly cinching up one side of his sly lips.**

 **"No thank you, one distressing mistake within four and twenty hours is all I need make to fill this day's quota." Elizabeth pertly snipped back with a persnickety affront.**

 **She kept her countenance frozen in that soured smile to put the insufferable Captain n his appropriate place. Of course seeing how he got her nerves all 'twitchy,' he refused to comply. Sparrow could only emit that half laugh, the one Elizabeth hated; she always felt that silent chortle he was making fun of her.**

 **"Are y'** _ **certain**_ **?" he crooned in reply.**

 **Again that lilting and lyrical voice of his sailing up and down the musical scale in a teasing fashion, purposeful. This was about all Elizabeth could take in this long list of travesties so far this day. She held up her free hand over her brow to provide a panel of shade to block out the direct sun. Leaning backward, she was looking up with a sideways angle to pinpoint his grinning façade.**

 **"I said I was** _ **fine**_ **. You can go about you captain duties as you will." Elizabeth insisted, hoping to shoo him away.**

 **"Nonsense! Any part of me crew who b'comes injured** _ **is**_ **my business, Lizzie. Let's 'ave a look-see then, shall we?"**

 **"NO! I said I was―"**

 **Amid the vehement protests, Sparrow was already on his haunches and plunged his hand into the bucket to retrieve her hand. Pulling it from the soiled water, his brows furrowed to form a scowl. Lips pursed as he peered down his nose with those dark kohl eyes slanted and focused sharply upon the small gash.**

 **"Now, what 'ave we here, eh?"**

 **Her face probably three shades redder than the sun-kissed crimson hue upon her fair skin these last few hours, she balked. Elizabeth was now feverishly glancing about to see if anyone was nearby and watching this. Meanwhile, this fiendishly sensual play going on between them was well on its way to becoming a production. Tugging her arm to be free from his clutches, her voice was a whispered threat.**

 **"Will you please** _ **stop**_ **it!" she hissed her disapproval, trying to get her arm released, but Jack had a death grip on it.**

 **"Be** _ **still**_ **!" he abruptly commanded in a rough voice that was oh so serious, "…I'm not done with me examination, then."**

 **"Done with your…..it's only a bloody** _ **splinter**_ **, Jack!"**

 **"Ah ah ah…..infection can b' a mos' heinous issue whilst out at sea, luv. B'fore you know it…** _ **chop chop**_ **!"**

 **"** _ **What**_ **?"**

 **It suddenly dawned on Elizabeth what Sparrow was alluding. He was hinting at a possible amputation should her minuscule splinter fly into a full blow state of gangrene! This was absurd, knowing Jack was using this opportune moment to flirt shamelessly with her. Just as Elizabeth got her scrambled thoughts organized to chastise him for this transgression―in her thumb flew into Jack's mouth! Shocked and appalled over this gross display of immense sexuality; this sensual sucking of her thumb had also surprisingly given her an erotic body chill! Elizabeth's mouth was poised open to harangue Sparrow, but had aptly softened into a gasp of sudden pleasure! She fell backwards into a slacked slump onto a barrel of supplies.**

 **"Ssstooop it…."**

 **She heard her own voice, it was pliable, mellow and cushioned with a sensual purr which was untypical. It sounded unlike any croon warbled by Elizabeth in her entire life! Meanwhile, those daunting black eyes were whetted, honed in upon her face to drink in her response. They crystallized with a keen, provisioned cleverness that was provoking and intimidating at the same time. The sensual tugging of her digit being sucked with his warm, wet and velvet-like tongue was maddening. It was swirling around in a languid circle about; it was too lovely to forego the experience and let her mind be set adrift.**

 **A gust of wind had displaced a strand of her long blonde hair across her nose. It was tickling her and Elizabeth wanted to remove it. However, that solo free arm had her buttressed upwards from collapsing all the way backwards into a recline upon the deck. Elizabeth imagined one slip of that support and Sparrow would be atop her like a savage hawk swooping in on a helpless titmouse!**

 **Just then the resonant slurping sound of her thumb popped as it was released from its pleasant imprisonment. Elizabeth opened her eyes and saw the still precariously smug Sparrow staring victoriously at her. Nodding slowly as he tipped his hat down over his brow just a smidgen more, those crafty orbs were still slightly amused by her discomfited posture. Realizing how she must look, with a crisp jerk of her torso, Elizabeth sat erect and meticulously adjusted her vest from being rumpled. She looked about to see if any of the crew had been witness to this display of….of what this was Elizabeth was not quite so sure. But she did know enough about propriety that it was most certainly not in good form! Jack should take such liberties upon her predicaments, be his concerns of the honest nature, or a more dubious intent―to flirt.**

 **"Right, yer fine, then."**

 **Sparrow's deep and resonant tenor was sounding authoritative and final, as if he had administered medical attention and the emergency passed. Elizabeth was feeling all sorts of confused, aroused, angered, and flustered.**

 **"That was totally uncalled for," Elizabeth snarled as she became haughty and defensive, posturing in a stiff resolve as if to protect her valor.**

 **Did Elizabeth constantly need remind Sparrow she was the only woman upon the Black Pearl? These little impromptu shenanigans of his was becoming habit and not appreciated. The last thing Elizabeth wanted to represent while on this ship was appearing like the 'captain's tart.'. And naturally every chance he managed, Sparrow would dive at the chance to beguile and defile!**

 **"Only doin' me duty, luv.'Tis me responsibility t' see every member of my crew is fit n' in good shape for action, right?" he argued with a serious guise, but Elizabeth knew it was all eyewash.**

 **"** _ **Rubbish**_ **! If Gibbs had splintered his thumb, not for a second would you think upon sucking** _ **his**_ **fingers!"**

 **That infernal sly and wily grin had sprouted again as Jack stood up, ducked his own thumbs into the waistband of his sash, and cockily leered down at her. A gleam of silver and gold flashed in the sunlight as his beam widened to a slick reflection of mischief.**

 **"Mebbe…..mebbe** _ **not**_ **, depends on the wound."**

 **Exasperated with him, Elizabeth was too flushed now to handle Jack when he was this overtly sexual and on a mission to rattle her. There was no reasoning with him in this perpetual state of constant arousal. Goading him now would only have repercussions Elizabeth was in no mood for dueling wits. In this state in a public forum, she'd surely lose. Cutting her losses for now and holding a mental marker to get even with Sparrow later, Elizabeth growled,**

 **"Just…just go** _ **away**_ **!" she spat.**

 **Sparrow proffered a courtly half bow, tipped his tri-corn hat, and with a flouncy bop in his stride sauntered off. He loped away just as smoothly as he strolled in upon her cloistered world. All the while in retreat, Jack glancing back over his shoulder at Elizabeth with that impish grin and dazzling black eyes sparkling with devilry within.**

 **"** _ **Pirate**_ **!" she hissed seething under her breath.**

 **~~~~~~~~~FINIS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**


End file.
